Season 9 Episode Guide

= Watch the Video On-Line

Season End Special: April 14, 2002

GUEST STAR: Colin Mochrie

Chicken Cannon News
Chicken Cannon News reports on Colin Powell's meeting with Yassar Arafat, Survivor: West Bank, Saddam Hussein, Gordon Campbell, disco music in Afghanistan and more. Colin Mochrie takes an in-depth look at when the animal world attacks.
Expos Fans
A couple of fans are home alone.
New Look Newman
Newsworld overdoses on screen clutter and leaves Don Newman with the blahs.
Abendigo & Colin Mochrie
Abendigo Winkler interviews improv master Colin Mochrie.
Saturn Commercial
The world's most sensitive car salesman is pushed to his limit.
Global Warming Restaurant Couple
A romantic dinner turns hot with talk of Global Warming.
Java Gab
Java Joe pays lip service to the credit card companies.
Chrétiens Return Home
Jean Chrétien visits Ottawa during his latest world tour.
Larry King & The Bushes
Larry King gets a terrorist updates from Presidents George and Laura Bush.
Health Watch Commercial
Growing old and watching Drug Store commercials can drive you crazy.
Always Right: Air Fares
Radio right-winger Les Morely reports air fares are anything but fair.
Inside the Actors Studio: The Hanson Brothers
Inside The Actors Studio gets inside the heads of hockey hosers, The Hanson Brothers.
Gas Station Loudmouth
A loudmouth experiences a drop in gas prices.
Anne McLellan's Stem Cell Guidelines
Health Minister Anne McLellan's top ten stem cell guidelines.
Chugging Contest Promo
Canada's ultimate reality show: Beer Factor.

Episode 9-20: April 12, 2002

GUEST STAR: Craig Lauzon

News From Away - Opening
Jimmy & Shamus O'Toole ask the question, "Air Travel - what's up with that?"
Air Travel: Jean Chrétien
Jean Chrétien's airline logic hits turbulence.
A Long Line-up
Airport line-ups keep growing and growing.
Air Travel: John Manley
John Manley tries to put a positive spin on Canada's airline industry.
Pilots Locked In
A pilot learns never to drink six cups of coffee before entering a locked cockpit.
Travel Agent
A lonely travel agent will do anything for some attention.
Terrorist Detector
Canada's newest airport security detector is a real bang with passengers.
Air Travel Quiz
The Jimmy and Shamus Air Travel quiz.
Air Travel: Joe Clark
Joe Clark reminisces about Lester Pearson.
Native People's Airlines
Air Flying Beavers - where the bingo dabbers and smokes are free.
Air Travel: David Collenette
Transport Minister David Collenette gives Canada's airline industry the thumbs up.
Westjet Board Meeting
Westjet employees are dropping like flies.
Air Travel: Alliance Backbencher
A Canadian Alliance backbencher has trouble focusing on Canada's airline industry.
Air Travel Complaint
Air Canada customer service rep handles a passenger with kid boxing gloves.
Robert Milton Interview
Shamus O'Toole interviews Air Canada president Robert Milton.
Air Travel: Adrienne Clarkson
Adrienne Clarkson highlights the perks of flying Canadian.
Tai Chi Airport Security
Tai Chi security guard utilizes all the right moves.
News From Away: Closing
Dr. Joy Thoms speaks with Dr. Heather O'Brien about the largest challenge facing the medical profession.

Episode 9-19: April 5, 2002

GUEST STAR: Elvira Kurt

Legal Dress Code
A judge mistakes the criminal code for the dress code.
Lloyd Interviews Chrétien in Africa
Jean Chretien gets jungle fever in Africa.
Videopinion: Taffi on TV Violence
Taffi is furious with the violence on TV.
Wendy Report
The Wendy Report discusses Pierre Trudeau mini-series, Jean Chrétien's new plane, Monarch Butterflies, Canada Customs, Queen Mom, Prince Harry, Yassar Arafat, daylight saving time, Canadian troops in Afghanistan, Jazz Air, and Airport security charge.
Curmudgeon: New $5 Bill
The Canadian Mint's new five dollar bill has a curmudgeon peeved.
Stephen Harper Interview
The new Alliance leader discovers not all interviews he does are about him.
Grumpy Old Politically Incorrect Women
Bosom bench buddies feed pigeons and bitch about life.

Episode 9-18: March 29, 2002

GUEST STAR: Rochelle Wilson

Dave The Cabbie
Meter mouth Dave the Cabbie comments on a cleavage revealing lawyer, Ernie Eves, Michael J. Fox, Celine Dion's new CD, Air Canada gouges travel agents, cell phone drivers, back to school in Afghanistan, National Post proposal, and Dr. Scholl.
Margaret Atwood's Tax Tips
Margaret Atwood's tax tips put the fun in refund.
Ernie Eves Announcement
Blind Willy Feldman teams up with Ontario's new premier Ernie Eves - the blind leading the blind.
Ron Bickel - New Inventions
Pitchman Ron Bickel's latest inventions - The Chicken Chair & The Cat Cork.
Trudeau Movie Promo
Pierre Trudeau pirouettes his way through the decades.
CTV NewsNet: Harper & Sims
New Canadian Alliance leader Stephen Harper unite the right plans are hair-raising.
Clark Movie Promo
Joe Clark's career highlights - the best five minutes of TV ever.
A Moment With Stockwell Day
Stockwell Day as a popular breakfast food - toast.
Parliament Cleaning Ladies
Two Parliament Hill cleaning ladies find the real dirt on Canada.

Episode 9-17: March 22, 2002

GUEST STAR: Dave Broadfoot

A Canadian Moment
Air Farce donut trio looks at Stephen Harper, Robert Mugabe, Gordon Campbell, Elvis Stojko retires, Caribou flavoured condoms, Nova Scotia nude beach, Shae-Lynne Bourne's top drops, and Ralph Klein.
Arafat & Wilson
A Yasser update.
Mike Harris Swan Song
Outgoing Ontario premier Mike Harris's swan song.
Manley & Stout
John Manley's forecast ends up cockeyed.
Member for Kicking Horse Pass
Current comments from Dave Broadfoot, the Member for Kicking Horse Pass.
Gaglianofather
Alfonso Gagliano defends his political career.
Critic At Large - Academy Awards 2002
Critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me votes for the Oscars nominees with an iron thumb.

Episode 9-16: March 15, 2002

GUEST STAR: Peter Keleghan

Chrétien News Conference
The Prime Minister gives an up-to-the-Chretien review of his trip to the White House.
Local Report
An Eyewitness news duo who has issues with each other talk about warm Canadian winters, Canada's improving economy, Lake Ontario water rising, tax on feminine hygiene products, Can/US softwood lumber deal, St. Patrick's Day, New Canadian census, US prepares nuclear hit list, and a March break commentary.
Stockwell Day Pitch
Canadian Alliance plays Scratch and Win to pick their new leader.
Mansbridge - Senior Citizen Driver
A senior defends her driving record.
Confused Philosopher
The Confused Philosopher asks more of life's unanswerable questions.
Beavertone News - Submarine Leak
A submarine commander discovers he's wet behind his ears, and his feet and his waist…
Ralph Klein - Education
Ralph Klein discusses Alberta's three R's, reading, writing and rehab..
Grumpy Old Politically Incorrect Men
A couple of seniors have outgrown political correctness.
Bloopers - Local Report
Any actor will tell you that bloopers and flubbed lines can be infectious. Peter starts things off when he's late on his cue (he's supposed to same Good Evening simultaneously with Luba but is a bit late.) And things get worse.
Bloopers - Grumpy Old Politically Incorrect Men
A nice moment between Roger, Peter... and a squawking pigeon.

Episode 9-15: March 8, 2002

GUEST STAR: Winston Spear

News From Away
Jimmy and Shamus report on Switzerland in U.N., Jean Chretien comments on Rock/Martin fight, Jean Chretien in Australia, Anne Heche's baby, Prince Edward, pine beetle in B.C., Alberta teachers strike, Guantanamo Baywatch, new cane for the blind, and Canadian Alliance leadership race.
Crocodile Hunter - Reptilicus Regina
The Crocodile Hunter comes nose to nose with the world's most dangerous species - British Royalty.
Canadian Fear Factor
B.C. Premier Gordon Campbell finds reality hard to swallow on Canadian Fear Factor.
HAG Insurance
HAG insurance - where a good husband is a dead husband.
Videopinion
A stand-up response to CBC's critics.
Eggleton Grilled
Minster of Defense Art Eggleton explains he's a slow learner.
Ma & Pa Crematorium
Ma & Pa Babbs' Body Burnatorium - putting the eternal flame to your loved one.
Win Paul Martin's Money
Win Paul Martin's Money - the game show that puts your tax dollars up for grabs.

Episode 9-14: March 1, 2002

GUEST STAR: Jessica Holmes

Williams & Leibel - Olympic Recap
Williams and Leibel with a recap on Canada's hockey gold rush, lugers feel the Utah pinch and Ron MacLean's sweater dilemma.
Chicken Cannon News
The Chicken Cannon registers a perfect score with the Olympic figure skating judges and reports on Art Eggleton, B.C. premier Gordon Campbell, Ralph Klein - Kyoto Protocol, Royal Bank profits, Ontario P.C. leadership race and more, Sandie Rinaldo & French Judge
Sandie Rinaldo scores an interview with the French skating judge.
Olympic Moment - Ski Jump
Olympic security is tighter than a ski jumper's lycra inseam.
Chrétien Trade Mission World Tour
Jean Chrétien promotes his "Okay For Sures On That Has Canada Gots A Deal For Yous Trade Mission Tour."
Olympic Moment - Goal Judge
An Olympic goal judge proves she has pucks for brains.
Off The Record
Resident TSN pretty boy Michael Landsberg goes Off The Record with ex-spice girl Geri Halliwell and the Zoom Zoom kid.

WEBisode 3: February 22, 2002

Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan mubles through the week's top news stories: Timothy McVeigh, Saudi Terrorists, Heaven's Gate, Yassar Arafat and the British Election.
Leonard Cohen
Carstairs Carruthers presents Leonard Cohen's "Songs for a cold, dark, dreay night".
The Three Tenors
The three tenors - Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo and the other guy - sing your favourite songs!
Celine Dion
Celine Dion has a shattering experience.
Stumpy Tom Conway
Canadian music icon Stumpy Tom is "inbred, and worry free... just like the Royal Family".
Blind Willy Feldman
Blind Willy Feldman is singin' the blues cuz his "toaster is broke".
Elton John
Elton John sings a moving tribute in honour of a recently departed friend.
Due South: The Lost Episode
Special Guest Paul Gross appears in the Lost Episode of Due South where he must rescue, and serenade his true love, Rita MacNeil.
Bob Dylan: 1996 Year in Review
Bob mumbles through 1996...
Bonus Sketch: CTV News with Lloyd Robertson
Technically, not a musical sketch. But Lloyd does manage to belt out a few bars of his favourite opera. (And does a pretty good job of it for one of Canada's most trusted newscasters.)

WEBisode 2: February 15, 2002

I'm Gonna Burst!
Roger and Don discover that anything can happen when you put snack food down your pants.
If At First You Don't Succeed...
John finds out that a hard to hang picture is worth a thousand laughs.
Somebody Call 911!
Someone should have shown Luba how to operate the fire extinguisher BEFORE we taped the sketch!
I'm Pam, From Wadena...
Luba asks a tongue tied question and John and Don decide to go with it.
Gunslinger... Or Not!
As President of Haiti, Roger soon discovers that John is doing more behind his back than what was called for in the script!
Don't Lose Your Head!
Technically, this one isn't John's fault! He just has a large head! The "voice" at the end is that of our director, Perry Rosemond, as he gently tries to reassure John.
Big, Juicy Ones
Roger struggles with a few adjectives, or maybe he just finally gets the joke right in the middle of a pre-taping a sketch.
Keep Your Hat On!
Another mishap for which we're ready to hold our usually excellent production crew responsible. In this instance, it's Wardrobe and Special Effects!
"Take Longer To Die"
Guest star Shaun Majumder hams it up a bit with Roger before rolling tape. And then, he decides to take artistic license with the direction he's given in this sketch!
It's A Miracle?
Never before seen! A religious sketch taped for our 1996 New Year's Special. Wait for the blooper towards the end of the piece, as Roger, Don and Luba get to see for the first time the handiwork of our special effects co-ordinator.
BIO Tech, Not BIG Tech. Canadian Dollar, not...
Guest star Janet Van De Graaff makes a slight flub with the term "Bio Techs", and that throws her completely off the script. NOTE: Janet has previously appeared in a commercial for "Canadian Tire".
Baah, Baah Mad Sheep...
Roger begins to lose his composure in reaction to Don's character as a British Scientist. Our director Perry Rosemond lets the cameras continue to roll, and Don pulls out all stops to keep Roger from ever recovering!

WEBisode 1: February 8, 2002

O.J. Clue
NEW! from Parkers Brothers: O.J. clue. Can you figure out how O.J. did it?
Coalgate
Children learn the importance of complimenting the teacher.
Stan's Long Distance Company
Tired of paying those monopolies through the nose? Try Stan's Long Distance!
Mr. Diaper
Don't get caught with your pants down again!
Norton Union's Funeral Coverage Plus
Norton Union's coverage makes sure you can't take it with you!
Hemo-Blaster
Do you suffer from the pain and itch of hemorrhoids? So does this guy!
Klutzes Hotline
This new late night chat service will leave you head over heels in love.
Stan's Eye Clinic
Stan's Eye Clinic offers neither the latest, nor the greatest, in laser eye surgery.
Feminist Monopoly
Just in time for Christmas, the newest game on the market, Feminist Monopoly.
Zintac 78
Zintac 78: All natural, and drug free (if you don't count the demerol!)
Sacre Bleu
Coureurs de bois paddle their canoe and peddle beer!

Episode 9-13: February 1, 2002

GUEST STAR: Shaun Majumder

Dave The Cabbie
Dave the cabbie talks about government's $3.3 billion mistake, Parliament re-opens, Mike Tyson, Canadian on FBI list, K-Mart's president, Groundhog Day, Preston Manning's retirement and McDonald's new Gretzky pucks.
Huckley's Cough Syrup, Part 1
Huckley's president has a healing prescription for a kid.
Dyer Report: Afghanistan Mission
Military analysts Gwynne Dyer comments on Canada's lean, mean fighting machine.
Huckley's Cough Syrup, Part 2
A Huckley's employee reveals just what the ingredients are in their cough syrup.
Cover Up
Cover Up - paranormal programming for the paranoid.
Bush Addresses Nation
President Bush gets all choked up about snack food.
Minority News Report
This news team has everything it needs - a token woman and visible minority. They report on the Canadian embassy in Kabul, Ontario's drinking water, Ontario PC leadership race, Alzheimer's disease, Wall-Mart, George W. Bush and two Canadian Al Quaeda members.
Huckley's Cough Syrup, Part 3
The founder of Huckley's addresses a consumer's concern.
Huckley's Cough Syrup, Part 4
At Huckley's, employee fraternization is encouraged.
Klein vs McLellan
Health Minister Anne McLellan debates the Medicare system with a walking health risk, Ralph Klein.
Guaranteed Life Plus Commercial
Guaranteed Life Plus: insurance for stupid, cheap people.

Episode 9-12: January 25, 2002

GUEST STAR: Bob Martin

CTV News Net: Martin & Sims
Paul Martin has difficulty figuring which loonie is in more trouble, the Canadian dollar or Linda "Skunkhead" Sims.
Videopinion: Postage Increase
Wally and Junior experience stamp rage.
A Postcard from John Manley
John Manley travels the world for photo ops.
Always Right
Radio right-winger commentator Les Morley promotes his new book, Nuke All Them Bastards.
Ford Plant: Crash Test Dummy
A down-sized Ford crash test dummy encounters his biggest fear - unemployment..
Afghani TV: Under The Burqa
The Shania Twain of Kandahar sings her song that's number one with the bullet - "Under the Burqa."
Wendy Report
The Wendy Report looks at Enron, K-Mart, Mike Tyson, Prince Charles drug savior, Walkerton water report, Canadian troops in Afghanistan, B.C. job cuts, Taliban prisoners flown to Guantanomo Bay and Canada's winter Olympic team.

Episode 9-11: January 11, 2002

GUEST STAR: Joe Flaherty

Chicken Cannon: Target of 2001
The Chicken Cannon takes aim at the viewer-voted Target of the Year 2001. Also Alfanso Gagliano, Argentina, Stockwell Day, Ecoli in Regina, Buffalo, warm Canadian winter, search for Osama, Bin Laden's cave, shoe bomber, Hell's Angels, Australian fires, oldest man, Nelly Furtado, Michael Jordan's divorce, propaganda filmmaker and gay UPS doll.
Investigative Science
In the race to produce pig parts for humans a scientist wins by a snout.
Critic: 2001 Year in Entertainment
Critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me uncovers 2001's entertainment highs and lows.
Olympic Moment: The Skeleton
An Olympic coach sends his athlete on a downhill path.
Canada 3000
Canada 3000 returns on a wing and a prayer as Canada $29.95.
Guy Lafleur Commercial
The aging hockey star deals with Erectile Dysfunction.
Chrétien Addresses The Troops
Jean Chrétien gives Canadian soldiers an Afghani survival kit - soup, Buckley cough syrup and Curly Fries.

2001: Year of the Farce NYE Special, December 31, 2001

GUEST STARS: Patrick McKenna, Sean Cullen, Sonja Smits and Sheila McCarthy

Chrétien & Larry King
Jean Chretien speaks Chretienadian to CNN's Larry King.
Harry Potter
Harry Potter merchandise makes your money all magically disappear.
Digital Channels #1
The Air Farce digital survival guide - The Crocodile Hunter and Much Yodeling.
U.S. Special Forces Briefing
American Special Forces in Afghanistan learn whack-a-Laden as part of basic training.
Nancy Wilson: Napster with Keith Richards
Morning napper Nancy Wilson talks Napster with Keith Richards.
Digital Channels #2
The Air Farce digital survival guide - The Endangered Species Network.
Talking To Afghans
CBC's newest comedy - Talking to Afghans.
Manning Resigns
Preston Manning holds a press conference to announce his retirement from politics.
Politically Correct O Canada
O Canada gets a politically correct facelift and becomes a patriotic non-specific gender neutral collection of inoffensive sentiments.
Manley Immigration Test
Immigration's tough new quiz for visitors.
Bush Forgets Canada
George W. Bush learns the hard way that "C" stands for Canada.
Farm Aid: The Opera
Cash strapped farmers' sing for their supper.
Dyer Report
Military Affairs Analyst Gwynne Dyer highlights things to watch out for in your mail.
Stockwell's News Conference
Stockwell Day has all the right answers, especially since he's asking all the questions.
Digital Channels #3
The Air Farce digital survival guide - The Water Network and Pigeon Sex TV.
CNN Time Delay Interview
CNN's Aaron Brown experiences interview lag with Christiana Amanpour.
Hedy Fry Apology
B.C. politician Hedy Fry makes apology, after apology after apology.
Bouchard & Duceppe: That's Separation
Lucien Bouchard and Gilles Duceppe team up to sing, "That's Separation."
Linda Sims & John Roth - Nortel
Nortel changes its name to No Tell because there's no telling what will happen next.
Dragoderm
A doctor licks his cross-dressing cravings.
Stan's Internet Baby Service
Stan unveils his new web page, www.e-baby.com.
Pringle & Landry
Bernard Landry sees red and throws the bull.
Weakest Canadian Link
It's yucks for bucks as celebrities play The Weakest Canadian Link.

Episode 9-10, December 7, 2001

GUEST STAR: Jonathan Torrens

Dave The Cabbie Click here to hear a sample...
Dave the cabbie high-flags Canadian borders, Rogers Internet disruption, Yassar Arafat gets bombed, Vancouver terrorist sentenced, Stockwell Day, Toronto's garbage, Air Canada complaints, George Harrison, Canadian's donations to New York, Pierce Brosnan sexiest man of year, shyness drug and human cloning.
Bin Laden Watch Returns
Osama - come out, come out wherever you are.
Sports Central Co-Hosts
Jock talk with a dynamic diction duo.
Martin Prepares Budget
Paul Martin croons away his budgetary blues.
English Pie
Prince Charles duscusses the royal birds and bees with Prince William.
Book Review
Heather Reisman's book hit list.
Reel to Real
A cable movie critic gives public access to a budding director.
Black & Decker Gentile
The Gentile Plumber is all that he's cracked up to be and more.

Episode 9-09, November 30, 2001

GUEST STAR: Diane Flacks

Stan's Travel
Stan's travel, just one step ahead of the law.
Sims & Financial Expert
Business analyst Linda "Skunkhead" Sims cautions her guest not to upset her.
Mansbridge & Bin Laden Right Hand Man
Peter Mansbridge uncovers Afghanistan's puppet regime.
Headline News Click here to hear a sample...
Heads-Up News - talking heads have all the lines.
Landry Explanation
Québec Premier Bernard Landry has renamed the PQ the TQ, Taliban Québecois.
Cape Breton Coal Miner
An unemployed miner turns his lump of coal into piles of money.
Canadian Tire Couple
Mr. and Mrs. Fix It's gift ideas make you grateful that Christmas comes only once a year.
Smokers Corner
Puffers pontificate on Canadian troops on hold, WTN firings, NDP name change, weight loss with high frequency sounds, cloning human embryos, travesties left handed and Canada loves New York weekend.
Season's Greetings
Season's Greetings from the makers of Prozac.
Donut Ladies: Recession
The Donut Ladies discover the joys of the recession.

Episode 9-08, November 23, 2001

GUEST STAR: Patrick McKenna

News From Away Click here to hear a sample...
Jimmy & Shamus O'Tooles' sea-side news summary includes Nelson Mandela's Canadian citizenship, Conrad Black, afghani pakool hats, Harry Potter, the G-20 meeting, death of Andrew McNally, Bernard Landry, the Grey Cup, womens' brains and Canadian troops.
Weather Network
The Traveller's forecast.
U.S. Special Forces Briefing
American Special Forces in Afhanistan learn whack-a-Laden as part of basic training..
Chrétien & Martin - New VIA Train
Jean Chrétien learns VIA Rail is like the liberal party, both carry a lot of useless freight.
Weather Network
The Overnight forecast.
Conrad Black Fairy Tale
In the land of Cross Harbour, Lord Tubby Black rules with an iron tongue.
Weather Network
The Hurricane Report.
Geraldo in Afghanistan
War is hell, especially when Geraldo Rivera gets involved.
Sister Bonaventure - Expos
The demise of the Montréal Expos leaves The Cursing Nun hot under the habit.
Weather Network
The Pollen Report.
The New Patch
A doctor licks his cross-dressing cravings.
Weather Network
The Flying Dog Report.
Antiques Roadshow - Mona Lisa
An Antiques Roadshow art dealer learns a picture is worth a thousand lies.

Episode 9-07, November 16, 2001

GUEST STAR: Sonja Smits

Wendy Report
The Wendy Report reports on Canada 3000, proposed CBC-CTV merge, women who fall asleep after making love, fertile sperm findings, the Taliban, Osama bin Laden's nuclear collection, and the anthrax scare.
Anthrax Emergency
Emergency Task Force officers deal with a suspicious package.
Harry Potter
Harry Potter merchandise makes your money all magically disappear.
CNN Time Delay Interview
CNN's Aaron Brown experiences interview lag with Christiane Amanpour.
Critic - New TV Season
Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me sinks his teeth into the new TV season.
Caplan at Immigration
Elinor Caplan struts her stuff as Minister in Charge of Not Letting Terrorists into Canada.
Bush Address Click here to hear a sample...
George W. Bush doo-wops his way to a new tune, "Osama Sama Ding Dong".

Episode 9-Best Of #1, November 9, 2001

FEATURING: John Morgan

MacIntosh Marriage
A Scottish lad from the MacIntosh clan discovers the wife he has picked is incompatible.
Curling Marriage Click here to hear a sample...
The sport of curling leaves a marriage on the rocks.
Mike Wine Tasting
Mike from Canmore finds that at a wine tasting meeting you can cut the pretension with a knife.
Olympic Luge
Communications is very important for a successful two man luge team.
Jock McBile - Debt/PM's
Jock shows us how we got to our present debt-lemma (1995) from former Prime Ministers Pierre Trudeau to Brian Mulroney.
Mobile Phone on Train
A commuter derails a couple of cell phone users.
Washroom Ladder
A washroom attendant has his sights set on climbing the corporate ladder.

Episode 9-06, November 2, 2001

GUEST STAR: Dave Broadfoot

Chicken Cannon News Click here to hear a sample...
Chicken Cannon News targets the Canadian dollar woes, Allan Rock, Cipro shipment, U.S. Post Office's new motto, Newfoundland's new name, Conrad Black's lordship, CIBC job cuts, cigarette tax, container ship stowaway, Stockwell Day, TD Bank computer crash, Nova Scotia nudists, Bill Clinton, Kelowna snake mom and Michael Jordan.
CTV News: CSIS Interview
Sandie Rinaldo interviews the unknown spy.
Chrétien & Martin - December Budget
Jean Chrétien and Paul Martin's budget banter
Health Quiz
The Canadian health quiz: four out of five doctors feel it's the best quiz since the last quiz.
Dave Broadfoot - Bartholomew
A geezer goes one on one with a biker gang.
Glen Clark Commercial
Glen Clark's deck building company offers 100% off to B.C. politicians.
Talking To Afghans
CBC's newest comedy - Talking to Afghans.
Dyer Report
Military analyst Gwynne Dyer talks about different strains of anthrax.

Episode 9-05, October 26, 2001

GUEST STAR: Peter Keleghan

Canadian Moment Click here to hear a sample...
Air Farce's donut shop quartette talk about the Canadian Alliance party, Canadians gaining an hour of sleep, Air Canada, bank rate drops, Al Qaeda, Canada's Immigration Department hires new recruits, drug company threatens to sue government, Hooters new credit card, Michael Jackson, comet passes earth, and Mike Harris. (with guest star Peter Keleghan)
Nation's Business - GM Food
Health Minister Allan Rock goes on genetically modified food frenzy.
Sopranos Promo
The Sopranos contains extreme violence, coarse language and men with high voices. (with guest star Peter Keleghan)
BBC Interviews Tony Blair
Tony Blair promises to attack terrorism with his country's most threatening weapon - The Royal Family
Local Report
Anchor hair, anchor talk, anchor brains (with guest star Peter Keleghan)
Osama Videotape
Cave fever has a delusional Osama bin Laden singing for his supper. (with guest star Peter Keleghan)
Dyer Report
Military analyst Gwynne Dyer highlights things to watch out for in the mail.
Crossing Over
Crossing Over - talking to dead people for fun and profit. (with guest star Peter Keleghan)

Episode 9-04, October 19, 2001

GUEST STAR: Jayne Eastwood

Dave The Cabbie
Dave the cabbie talks about Premier Mike Harris' resignation; Canada Post and toxic substances; Canadian food drops; Alexa McDonough; Bono's visit to Chrétien; Paul McCartney's benefit concert; Canada Savings Bonds; and a new CFL team in Ottawa. (with guest star Jayne Eastwood)
Anne McLellan Legislation
Justice Minister Anne McLellan's anti-terrorist legislation targets everyone.
bin Laden Watch, Part 1
The search for the most notorious felon since the guy who invented bank service charges.
Hurricane Tourists
A tourist couple is blown away by Hurricane Iris.
(with guest star Jayne Eastwood)
bin Laden Watch, Part 2
The search continues.
Political Spotlight
The show where politicians burn themselves.
bin Laden Watch, Part 3
The search continues.
History Channel Promo
Revisionist history, righting Canadian historical wrongs.
Air Canada Board Presentation Click here to hear a sample...
Robert Milton hires an ad person to help his ailing airline.
(with guest star Jayne Eastwood)
Chrétien and Bono
Jean Chrétien talks with Bono and acts like a bozo. (with guest star Sean Cullen)
bin Laden Watch, Part 4
At Air Canada, desperate times require desperate measures.
Brenda at the Laundromat
Brenda the Bingo Lady gabs with Glenda the Laundry Lady. (with guest star Jayne Eastwood)
bin Laden Watch, Part 5
The search is over...?

Episode 9-03, October 12, 2001

GUEST STAR: Janet Van de Graaff

News From Away Click here to hear a sample...
Jimmy & Shamus report on Canada's population, air travel, security checks at airports, U.S. humanitarian food drops, the best way to defeat Osama bin laden, the "Ontario-Vermont" border and cousin Mavis O'Toole provides the business report.(with guest star Janet Van de Graaff)
Ukrainian General's Translation
A Ukrainian military representative explains travel safety, with simultaneous english translation.
John Manley's Immigration Test
Immigration Minister John Manley announces a new security measure: a Canadian quiz.
CNN Report: America Strikes Back
CNN discovers that war coverage is hell, especially when fighting for ratings! (with guest star Janet Van de Graaff)
Martha Stewart Living: Cloning
Martha Stewart makes her creation creation: a clone of herself. (with guest star Janet Van de Graaff)
Jean Chrétien & Larry King
Jean Chrétien speaks Chrétienadian to CNN's Larry King.
Nicoderm Patch
The Nicopatch: it's better than coughing up a lung. (with guest star Janet Van de Graaff)
Off The Record
Sportstalker Michael Landsberg gets Elizabeth Taylor whipped into a frenzy. (with guest star Janet Van de Graaff)

One Hour Season Premiere (901/902), October 5, 2001

GUEST STARS: Sean Cullen and Sheila McCarthy

Bush Forgets Canada
President George W. Bush learns the hard way that "C" stands for Canada.
New Digital Channels, Part 1
The Crocodile Hunter Network and Chum's latest "MUCH" Channel.
CTV News with Wolf and Greta
Lloyd Robertson reports teh week's news and interviews CNN's Greta Van Susteren and Wolf Blitzer on terrorism.
New Digital Channels, Part 2
The FPJMN Network and Endangered Species Network.
PM Jean Chrétien's Press Conference
Jean Chrétien responds to the alleged snub of Canada in george Bush's address to the American people.
New Digital Channels, Part 3
The Water Network, the Pigeon Sex Channel.
Weakest (Canadian) Link
Who is the Weakest Canadian Link: Ralph Klein, Margaret Atwood, or Neil Young? (with guest star Sheila McCarthy)
Newsworld Today: Joe Clark & Nancy Wilson
Joe Clark discusses the defection of former Alliance members to a coalition with the Progressive Conservative party.
Health Check, Part 1: Asthma
Health Check with Dr. Joy Thoms. Today's topic deals with the treatment of asthma. (with guest star Sheila McCarthy)
Politically Correct: O Canada! Click here to hear a sample...
Our national anthem gets a politically correct facelift and becomes a patriotic, non-specific gender-neutral collection of inoffensive sentiments. (with guest star Sean Cullen)
A Message From Air Canada
At Air Canada, desperate times require desperate measures.
Stockwell Day's Caucus Meeting
Stockwell Day addresses the remaining members of his caucus.
New Digital Channels, Part 4
The Numbers Channel and the Roadie Channel.
The Three Divas
Celine Dion (Sheila McCarthy) and Rita MacNeil (Luba Goy) team up as a dynamic diva duo.
Erectile Difficulties
Erectile dysfunction can be a laughing matter. (with guest star Sean Cullen)
Ron Bickel: Computer Anti-Virus
Ron Bickel's email virus solutions is slick.
Scream TV President
The President of the new horror channel, Scream TV, is a real... scream! (with guest star Sean Cullen)
Health Check, Part 2: The Medical Profession
Dr. Joy Thoms speaks with Dr. Heather O'Brien about the largest challenge facing the medical profession. (with guest star Sheila McCarthy)
Jaws 2001
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish shark and he'll probably get eaten. (with guest star Sean Cullen)